At first I was going to write this posting as an apology to Meghan's future boyfriends and spouse for setting a bad precedent, but then I realized it is just part of being in a relationship. As a parent I have the view that the main things I need to do for my children is provide them a loving environment, the self esteem to do what ever they want and the education and background to succeed. I can't be responsible for her (new found) expensive tastes.
What the heck am I writing about? Well, today is Meghan's 16th birthday. Being a child of the 80's I've always had in my mine that I need to buy my daughters diamond earrings on their 16th birthday. So on Thursday I stopped at Deb's favorite jewelry store, The Shane Company and bought her a pair of diamond and white gold earnings. Of course I can't buy something like that for my daughter and forget my wife, so I also got Deb a pair of gold hoop earrings.
Yes, the whole time I was looking at them I kept thinking back to the Breakfast Club and Molly Ringwald's character giving the diamond earring that her Dad bought her to the dirt bag. I hope Meghan has more sense than that ;)
While the guy was filling out the paperwork he was nicely trying to upsell me. (which is fine, I expected it and he wasn't pushy, which is why I really like going there.) I had mentioned that we'd bought a lot of stuff there over the years and I guess our record in their CRM system shows it, since he said "Wow, yes you have". I made a joke about my 'annual tithe to Tom' and he gave me a strange look, so I explained. 19+ years ago Deb and I went looking for engagement rings and ended up at their store by Windy Hill. She saw the ring she wanted but we didn't get it. I of course snuck back and bought it, thus starting the precedent with Deb.
For many, many years, everything I bought Deb for Christmas or our Anniversary was from The Shane Company. For our 10th anniversary I even brought Meghan with me to pick out the anniversary band. At one point I started joking that at Christmas I was paying my 'annual tithe to Tom' (Tom Shane is the guy you hear on the commercials and he is the CEO. He's also been mocked by SouthPark and the local jewelers as 'Mister Happy'). So as the guy tried to upsell me, I kept responding with 'have it'. I even pointed out that I have Tanzinite earrings, which they didn't ever sell any more!'
So whoever you are in Meghan's future, I'm not really sorry for starting her down this path!
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Book, Book, Book at 5:30 am
The little guy woke us up at 5:30 this morning. Why is that worthy of a blog post instead of a Facebook or Twitter update? Well, because he woke us up with a book. And he kept saying "book, book" over and over until Deb read it to him.
The last few days he's insisted that we read him the same book, each night and last night he went to sleep holding it. The book? The Berenstain Bears on the Moon. This is unusual because up to now he hasn't had a 'must read' book. He has some he likes us reading, but no 'must have' book before bed.
This got me thinking about other books that our kids made us read and books that have specific meanings at various times in our lives. I've been meaning to do this since the Spring. I even sent myself an email outlining this post ;-) I don't remember the trigger specifically, but I'm pretty sure it was something that Elizabeth Lynn Casey did. Who is Elizabeth Lynn Casey? She is the pseudonym for a woman I went to High School with. Turns out she paid attention in the various English classes and is pretty good author. She also has a really good blog here. (No she's not related to Deb, though Deb's maiden name is Casey and I'm pretty sure they knew each other in High School.)
Making good use of Social Media, Elizabeth has questions for her readers or answers questions about her writing almost every day. I can't find which post prompted this idea for me, but here goes. (If this is bad, its her fault ;-)
I don't remember reading books as a little kid, but I know I did read a lot. I distinctly remember going to the library several times with my Mom and that there were always books around our house. My first memory related to a book is reading an Erma Bombeck book and sharing one of the more funny passages with my Grandfather. Only to have him question my Dad about why I was reading things like that as a kid. It took a few more years before I could read things my parents had!
I remember reading Hardy Boys, Encyclopedia Brown, war stories, history and mysteries. I remember going through a Alistair MacClean and Agatha Christie phase and even reading all of Leon Uris' books as a teenager.
I also remember really clearly having my copy of Star Wars taken away by a teacher who caught me reading it in class instead of the science book. That was one of times my parents had the 'we're disappointed in you for doing it, but can't really punish you because it was a good thing to be doing' lectures. Yes there were many, many of those as a kid.
Throw in The Outsiders, That Was Then This is Now, Guadalcanal Diary and many of the fun "school" books and I was always reading.
The book that stands out the most for me in the Green Berets. It was the book I was reading when the really cute brunette 15 year old looked over the seat on the airplane and asked me what I was reading.
Skip ahead a bunch of years, the cute brunette and I had our first Daughter and started reading children's books. Meghan had two favorites, which we read to her every night. The first, Guess How Much I Love You we could recite in our sleep. And probably did a few times. The second was the Sandman. Being a good father I of course made the books fun. One of the pictures has Big Nut Brown Hare bending over to jump and I got Meghan to say 'he's pooping!' each time we got to that page!
Then Courtney came along and she liked the same books as Meghan, but really liked Good Night Moon and some annoying Barbie's little sister horse book. I couldn't stand the Barbie book, but she had to have it each night!
As the girls got older their reading tasks got better (or not ... Twilight, uggh) and I found I was reading a lot of things they were. Yes I've read Tale of Desperaux, Spirit Bear, Deep Dark and Dangerous and all the Harry Potter books. It is a lot of fun to talk to them about the book that we are both reading!
A few days ago I started reading the Berestain Bears book to Christopher and he immediately was interested. He studied each page and even pointed to a few of the pictures and said the appropriate words or word-sounds. As part of his therapy we stop him ever minute or so when he's doing something fun and get him to interact. So things like 'say 'A' or 'say 'rock' or 'what is this?'. With this book he is very responsive. So when ho woke us up at 5:30 Deb read the book to him, but he never went back to sleep!
I hope that when my kids look back like I am now that they have fond memories of all the books we've read together.
The last few days he's insisted that we read him the same book, each night and last night he went to sleep holding it. The book? The Berenstain Bears on the Moon. This is unusual because up to now he hasn't had a 'must read' book. He has some he likes us reading, but no 'must have' book before bed.
This got me thinking about other books that our kids made us read and books that have specific meanings at various times in our lives. I've been meaning to do this since the Spring. I even sent myself an email outlining this post ;-) I don't remember the trigger specifically, but I'm pretty sure it was something that Elizabeth Lynn Casey did. Who is Elizabeth Lynn Casey? She is the pseudonym for a woman I went to High School with. Turns out she paid attention in the various English classes and is pretty good author. She also has a really good blog here. (No she's not related to Deb, though Deb's maiden name is Casey and I'm pretty sure they knew each other in High School.)
Making good use of Social Media, Elizabeth has questions for her readers or answers questions about her writing almost every day. I can't find which post prompted this idea for me, but here goes. (If this is bad, its her fault ;-)
I don't remember reading books as a little kid, but I know I did read a lot. I distinctly remember going to the library several times with my Mom and that there were always books around our house. My first memory related to a book is reading an Erma Bombeck book and sharing one of the more funny passages with my Grandfather. Only to have him question my Dad about why I was reading things like that as a kid. It took a few more years before I could read things my parents had!
I remember reading Hardy Boys, Encyclopedia Brown, war stories, history and mysteries. I remember going through a Alistair MacClean and Agatha Christie phase and even reading all of Leon Uris' books as a teenager.
I also remember really clearly having my copy of Star Wars taken away by a teacher who caught me reading it in class instead of the science book. That was one of times my parents had the 'we're disappointed in you for doing it, but can't really punish you because it was a good thing to be doing' lectures. Yes there were many, many of those as a kid.
Throw in The Outsiders, That Was Then This is Now, Guadalcanal Diary and many of the fun "school" books and I was always reading.
The book that stands out the most for me in the Green Berets. It was the book I was reading when the really cute brunette 15 year old looked over the seat on the airplane and asked me what I was reading.
Skip ahead a bunch of years, the cute brunette and I had our first Daughter and started reading children's books. Meghan had two favorites, which we read to her every night. The first, Guess How Much I Love You we could recite in our sleep. And probably did a few times. The second was the Sandman. Being a good father I of course made the books fun. One of the pictures has Big Nut Brown Hare bending over to jump and I got Meghan to say 'he's pooping!' each time we got to that page!
Then Courtney came along and she liked the same books as Meghan, but really liked Good Night Moon and some annoying Barbie's little sister horse book. I couldn't stand the Barbie book, but she had to have it each night!
As the girls got older their reading tasks got better (or not ... Twilight, uggh) and I found I was reading a lot of things they were. Yes I've read Tale of Desperaux, Spirit Bear, Deep Dark and Dangerous and all the Harry Potter books. It is a lot of fun to talk to them about the book that we are both reading!
A few days ago I started reading the Berestain Bears book to Christopher and he immediately was interested. He studied each page and even pointed to a few of the pictures and said the appropriate words or word-sounds. As part of his therapy we stop him ever minute or so when he's doing something fun and get him to interact. So things like 'say 'A' or 'say 'rock' or 'what is this?'. With this book he is very responsive. So when ho woke us up at 5:30 Deb read the book to him, but he never went back to sleep!
I hope that when my kids look back like I am now that they have fond memories of all the books we've read together.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
What my kids what me to read
As a parent I find myself looking for books that my kids would enjoy reading, even if it isn’t something ‘typical’ for their age or interests. While my oldest has a vampire fixation right now (and I’m eagerly awaiting her to change!), my middle child is pretty open to reading anything. She is also not above recommending to ME what to read.
This is a fun change from when I read what they were reading to help them understand their assignments. I remember reading Tale of Despereaux in one night because my oldest didn’t understand what happened in the dungeon. It is also different from when they read the books that we had to in Elementary and High School (The Outsiders, To Kill a Mockingbird etc.) and I reread them because I remember how good they were. (Everyone still remembers what happens to Johnny right?)
So her recommendation for this week: Deep, Dark and Dangerous. A Ghost story for middle schoolers, she was totally engrossed in it a couple of weeks ago. She told me bits and pieces about it, so when she finished it the other day she started nagging me to read it. So I did. Pretty good story, kind of obvious once you get about 1/3 of the way in if you have experience with other mysteries or ghost stories, but I don’t think a 12 year old would have figured it out as soon as I did. That said, it does have a couple of twists at the end that I didn’t see coming, but that weren’t totally out in left field.
Since turnabout is fair play, her next ‘recommendation’ is a book I got her for Christmas that she originally didn’t want to read. But once she read a couple of chapters she was all over it! The book is Flight of the Phoenix, the first book in the Beastologist series. I’ll start that next week.
Now I need to find something for the Freshman that doesn’t involve vampires …
This is a fun change from when I read what they were reading to help them understand their assignments. I remember reading Tale of Despereaux in one night because my oldest didn’t understand what happened in the dungeon. It is also different from when they read the books that we had to in Elementary and High School (The Outsiders, To Kill a Mockingbird etc.) and I reread them because I remember how good they were. (Everyone still remembers what happens to Johnny right?)
So her recommendation for this week: Deep, Dark and Dangerous. A Ghost story for middle schoolers, she was totally engrossed in it a couple of weeks ago. She told me bits and pieces about it, so when she finished it the other day she started nagging me to read it. So I did. Pretty good story, kind of obvious once you get about 1/3 of the way in if you have experience with other mysteries or ghost stories, but I don’t think a 12 year old would have figured it out as soon as I did. That said, it does have a couple of twists at the end that I didn’t see coming, but that weren’t totally out in left field.
Since turnabout is fair play, her next ‘recommendation’ is a book I got her for Christmas that she originally didn’t want to read. But once she read a couple of chapters she was all over it! The book is Flight of the Phoenix, the first book in the Beastologist series. I’ll start that next week.
Now I need to find something for the Freshman that doesn’t involve vampires …
Friday, August 21, 2009
Are you jealous of your kid?
Style.com has an interesting article asking if you are jealous of your child. At first I’m sure you’re thinking ‘no, stupid question’. But if you’re like me a second or two later you think ‘yeah, maybe’ (and not just about the amount of time they spend with your better half).
Part of it is being a Dad (or Mom) where you’re shouldering all the responsibilities. Your children aren’t thinking about college, mortgage payments, the economy, how Grandma and Grandpa are doing in this economy or their health. The kids are thinking about video games, TV and what they are going to get for their birthdays.
Then you read the article and realize that they are talking about the ‘my kid is better than me’ or ‘my kid is better than I was at that age’. I’m not sure I agree with that with my kids. They are different, have different skills, interests and weaknesses. Yes they get to do things that we didn't, but there are also things we did and experienced that they probably won't.
Plus I’m over 40 now so hindsight always makes you be better than you really were right?
I first read the article last Wednesday. I thought about it a little bit on the way home, but started thinking of it a lot when I got home and started helping with homework. Then I realized that while I am jealous of some of the things they have and are able to do, I have no intention of going through the ‘growing up’ again.
Meghan is now a freshman in high school. I remember that age. And I hated it. I pretty much hated everything about High School until I met Deb. Then things became tolerable. While I like to ask questions about the school and the kids and what they are doing, I really don’t want to do it again. However, I remember how important it is to have someone to talk to so I ask lots of questions. Being a young lady she has different problems than I did at that age, but Deb shares a lot of the same dislike for that age.
Courtney and Christopher each have their own challenges now. Less so for the little guy, but I know that they are coming.
One advantage of having children though, is I can enjoy some of the things they are taking for granted by doing it with them. I probably wouldn’t admit it to Courtney, but I like the ‘dug out dude’ thing. First because I get to do something with her, but secondly because I get to be part of a sports team again. I ‘dragged’ Meghan to see the latest Harry Potter movie because I wanted to see it.
Having a toddler means you don’t have to grow up right? So showing your food, making farting noises with your armpit, throwing dinner rolls at the kids are all fair game right? So for a few minutes I get to be silly and not worry about everything.
So, yes I am somewhat jealous of my kids. But I also understand that while I’d like some of the things they have or get to do, I don’t want to go through what they are going to do again. I'll help and support them as they do it, but no way would I do it again.
Part of it is being a Dad (or Mom) where you’re shouldering all the responsibilities. Your children aren’t thinking about college, mortgage payments, the economy, how Grandma and Grandpa are doing in this economy or their health. The kids are thinking about video games, TV and what they are going to get for their birthdays.
Then you read the article and realize that they are talking about the ‘my kid is better than me’ or ‘my kid is better than I was at that age’. I’m not sure I agree with that with my kids. They are different, have different skills, interests and weaknesses. Yes they get to do things that we didn't, but there are also things we did and experienced that they probably won't.
Plus I’m over 40 now so hindsight always makes you be better than you really were right?
I first read the article last Wednesday. I thought about it a little bit on the way home, but started thinking of it a lot when I got home and started helping with homework. Then I realized that while I am jealous of some of the things they have and are able to do, I have no intention of going through the ‘growing up’ again.
Meghan is now a freshman in high school. I remember that age. And I hated it. I pretty much hated everything about High School until I met Deb. Then things became tolerable. While I like to ask questions about the school and the kids and what they are doing, I really don’t want to do it again. However, I remember how important it is to have someone to talk to so I ask lots of questions. Being a young lady she has different problems than I did at that age, but Deb shares a lot of the same dislike for that age.
Courtney and Christopher each have their own challenges now. Less so for the little guy, but I know that they are coming.
One advantage of having children though, is I can enjoy some of the things they are taking for granted by doing it with them. I probably wouldn’t admit it to Courtney, but I like the ‘dug out dude’ thing. First because I get to do something with her, but secondly because I get to be part of a sports team again. I ‘dragged’ Meghan to see the latest Harry Potter movie because I wanted to see it.
Having a toddler means you don’t have to grow up right? So showing your food, making farting noises with your armpit, throwing dinner rolls at the kids are all fair game right? So for a few minutes I get to be silly and not worry about everything.
So, yes I am somewhat jealous of my kids. But I also understand that while I’d like some of the things they have or get to do, I don’t want to go through what they are going to do again. I'll help and support them as they do it, but no way would I do it again.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
OMG My Kids Are On Facebook!
If you've been around social media for a while you've seen the articles, blogs and jokes about the college and high school kids freaking out as their parents joined Facebook.
Well, I have the opposite problem. My Kids are now on Facebook...
I've been on Facebook for a long time (well, relative to most people at least). I received one of the first non-college accounts within a week of it being open for anyone. Actually, I created two accounts one for work and one for home. Back in those days there wasn't a lot of privacy and grouping features so I wanted to keep those parts of my world apart.
Plus the reason I got the account was to figure out how to use social networks for marketing. Well, I think we nailed that one pretty well.
A year or so ago Meghan, my now 14 year old asked for a Facebook account. I thought about it for a minute and didn't see any reasons why not. I did set some ground rules, the main one is that I had to know the password and that I'd check it whenever I wanted. If I found she changed the password I would destroy the account (I own the main email address her email is created under so I can do that easily!)
She's very responsible so I didn't have any issues, nor think much about her having one. Since she sat in on my presentation about Facebook at Middle School I didn't think there would be any problems.
Then my brothers, their wives, my cousins, friends from high school, friends from college, friends from the neighborhood etc. started getting accounts. Again no big deal. Until realized that since Meghan is friends with Deb and I, that she is being 'suggested' to be friends with our friends. Not a good idea.
This year Courtney goes to Middle School, so I created her a Facebook account. Unlike Meghan who was on Facebook well before most of my friends, Courtney is 'new' so all my friends are now seeing her. And wanting to Friend her. Again, not good.
The reason it is not good, is there are some things we joke about or post that I don't want my 11 year old seeing or asking about. Or that the friends post.
Family is one thing to have as Friends, but I've been telling the girls not to accept or Friend adults without first talking to me. I'll see who they are and make the decision.
One more parenting thing I never expected. Sigh.
Well, I have the opposite problem. My Kids are now on Facebook...
I've been on Facebook for a long time (well, relative to most people at least). I received one of the first non-college accounts within a week of it being open for anyone. Actually, I created two accounts one for work and one for home. Back in those days there wasn't a lot of privacy and grouping features so I wanted to keep those parts of my world apart.
Plus the reason I got the account was to figure out how to use social networks for marketing. Well, I think we nailed that one pretty well.
A year or so ago Meghan, my now 14 year old asked for a Facebook account. I thought about it for a minute and didn't see any reasons why not. I did set some ground rules, the main one is that I had to know the password and that I'd check it whenever I wanted. If I found she changed the password I would destroy the account (I own the main email address her email is created under so I can do that easily!)
She's very responsible so I didn't have any issues, nor think much about her having one. Since she sat in on my presentation about Facebook at Middle School I didn't think there would be any problems.
Then my brothers, their wives, my cousins, friends from high school, friends from college, friends from the neighborhood etc. started getting accounts. Again no big deal. Until realized that since Meghan is friends with Deb and I, that she is being 'suggested' to be friends with our friends. Not a good idea.
This year Courtney goes to Middle School, so I created her a Facebook account. Unlike Meghan who was on Facebook well before most of my friends, Courtney is 'new' so all my friends are now seeing her. And wanting to Friend her. Again, not good.
The reason it is not good, is there are some things we joke about or post that I don't want my 11 year old seeing or asking about. Or that the friends post.
Family is one thing to have as Friends, but I've been telling the girls not to accept or Friend adults without first talking to me. I'll see who they are and make the decision.
One more parenting thing I never expected. Sigh.
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